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I didn't care. It was duty booty. I accepted his need, was pleased he wanted me, was happy to give it but just didn’t feel sexy. If aroused I had to get mine on top first but usually was too tired and laid back and let him have it, pleased he wanted it.As the kids grew out of diapers and choo-choo train baby talk ended, however, we began to emerge from our marriage shell and rejoin peers, at least on weekends. Most were still single, partying and sexually experimenting with the new Age of Aquarius. They avoided career, house and kid commitments and considered us bogged down. We were bogged down but happy ever after-ing in our little Camelot.In the summer of 1974, six years after our wedding bells pealed, just before the kids entered preschool and kindergarten, we made a second trip to Disneyland for the kids, not us. We flew, not drove, rented a car at the airport, stayed and ate in the Disney Hotel and took the monorail to and from the park. The trip reflected our economic rise. This gorgeous woman, someone who could have any man she wanted, was actually telling me she actually had fantasies about me.“You looked shocked Brian.” she continued, “Don’t be, you’re an incredibly attractive young man, you also have a body any woman would die for. Of course you know that, you spend enough time in the gym.” she continued.“I dunno, I guess ... Um...” I stuttered.“You don’t think women have the same thoughts as men do? Trust me, I have seen a lot of women look at you and I know what they are thinking. They are wondering what it would be like to get you into bed.” she said, “When you look at me Brian, what do you think of.”“Oh geez, I mean ... I ... well, you have an unbelievable body, you’re so pretty and...” I stammered.“Well, we think the same thing Brian. There’s nothing wrong with that.” she told me.Again we had that awkward pause in the conversation that we had a few minutes ago. Maybe that’s all, maybe we are done I thought. Just as I thought we were Ashley.
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